Tonight we hooked Jen’s Pandora account to the television so she can listen to her playlists. It’s good for her to rest and listen to a little, light, background music. It also helps block the din of the oxygen machine. It’s a nice play list. So far we’ve heard Simon and Garfunkel, Jim Croce, Elton John. Right now, Ain’t No Sunshine is playing by Bill Withers. A beautiful and sad song. We are listening to music because she’s been in and out of sleep and cannot follow the show we started watching a couple of weeks ago.
We are on Day 7 of her first round of chemotherapy. Her oncology team have scheduled 3 rounds of chemotherapy on a 3 week schedule. It’s been a tough week. She’s had many great days and her family and friends have been checking in on her. The tough part is the swing in pain from very little some days – so she has a big smile and wants to share stories. Then there is way too much pain to handle and she is in agony. Saturday night we spent about 6 hours in the emergency room because the pain was simply too much for her to endure.
She’s been a fighter for the last 4 weeks. It was only 4 weeks ago that she entered the emergency room because her belly was bothering her. They kept her for a battery of tests and scheduled a biopsy the following day suspecting cancer in her ovaries. Wow, this disease is moving really fast. This has been a big reminder to me of how fleeting life is – and a reminder not to take “it” for granted. A friend likes to say “tomorrow is not promised to anyone.” I hope she responds well to chemotherapy.
We are sitting in the dark in the living room. The glow from the television is kind of bright but she has her eyes closed and is breathing steadily. Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrel are singing in the background that there “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.” It’s peaceful but I’m kind of sad. If she felt better, we would probably be enjoying a show – or sitting outside (if it wasn’t pouring with rain :-)), or maybe chatting with Evan and Sophie after a nice dinner.
I’m hopeful and frustrated and sad in a blend of emotions as I bring her medicine, or a glass of water, or a small bite to eat. Tonight she ate about 4 ounces of butter noodles. I’d like to get more calories in her, but she will eat more when she wakes from her nap.
For now, we are going to enjoy the music and the glow of the television and when she wakes, we will see if she would like something to eat and drink. We have a new medicine to try tonight and I hope it will ease her pain.